What people are thinking about you! — Kelly Summersett: Life Coach for Professional Women

I let out a gasp and then had a big laugh when I noticed that the picture of me, perfectbody.jpg, was still attached to last week's MM -- which had absolutely nothing to do with perfect bodies.

It was from the previous week's email. I wrote about when I literally had a perfect body (hence the pic) but couldn't see it because my mind was so f-ed up.

I imagined the thoughts you were thinking, especially if you're new to MM or haven't pulled one up in a minute.

"Oh, gees. What a narcissist'

'What the hell!? Fish for compliments much?'

'Asshole'

And this leads me to my favorite topic -- our minds.

I could have stayed on the 'what people must think about me' loop for days because before I knew how to manage my mind, I would have. Here's what it would have looked like:

Day 1: "OMG! I can't believe I did this! Kelly, you dumb-ass! What are people going to think!? I better call Sherry to tell her all about it and get her opinion on what I should do. My stomach is so upset. What if everyone unsubscribes? What if everyone tells their friends what a narcissist I am?"

Day 2: "I didn't get any sleep last night thinking about what everyone must think of me. And here it is, 3 p.m., and I haven't gotten any of my work done because I still can't get it out of my head. I will call Candace and see what she thinks I should do. Maybe she'll agree with Sherry, that I shouldn't worry about it because people really don't think that about me."

Day 5: "Well Ann agrees with Sherry and Candace that I shouldn't worry about it but that's easy for them to say! Their careers aren't on the line right now. I feel so embarrassed. I should have double-checked my email before it went out! I need to hit it hard at the gym tonight so that I tire myself out so I can finally get some sleep and not think so much about this. But I'm so tired now. A box of mac and cheese and TV sounds pretty darn good, I'll do that.

Thinking about what someone is thinking is an exhausting time waster because:

1. Unless someone is telling you to your face, you really never know what they're thinking!

2. And even if someone does tell you to your face, that is only their perception based on their subjective thoughts.

3. In the absence of facts, your mind always 'fills in the blanks' with negative assumptions. (check out this quick IG reel)

Do you ever get triggered and then have a shit ton of worrisome thoughts for days about it all? If so, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

What am I making this mean about me? This is where you'll get some good intel about the story your mind is making up about you or the situation.

For my example: My mind was making my innocent mistake mean that I was a bad, narcissistic, and incapable person.

Knowing that your mind is literally making up a story...Do I want to believe this about myself?

What would I rather think and do about this?

Back to my example -- Before I knew how to manage my mind I would get stuck in an unproductive story loop about what other people thought of me, how responsible I was for their thoughts, and what it all meant about me. By definition, I really was being a narcissist -- me, me, me. Hahahahaha!

Learning to change my inner dialogue and challenge those thought patterns didn't happen overnight but by being consistent and asking myself better questions (and coming up with better answers) I won the 'mind battle' and you can too.

Would you love to..

laugh at yourself and let things go easily?
be 10x more productive because you're fully present in each moment and course-correcting negative thought loops in real-time?
stop feeling responsible for what you think other people are thinking?
have a better relationship with your body and yourself so that you have more clarity, inner confidence, and self-trust?

It's challenging to break out of old patterns but the way I see it, if you don't break out, life ends up being an infinitely long challenge anyway.

My clients are always shocked to see the progress they make in three months. Typically after week five, they'll tell me they can't put their finger on it but they feel different. Better. More relaxed. More calm. More productive. Clear. It's no surprise to me -- they're just experiencing what it's like to live in their bodies with managed minds! If you're ready for your next level, let's talk.