Assumptions. Why we do it and how to stop
Assumptions are the devil.
Pretty much 100% of the assumptions that I’ve ever made where I think to myself, “this is the time! I know I’m right this time!”
…I’m 100% wrong.
Damn.
Why do we make assumptions?
Thank your mind.
It’s associative, likes to keep you safe from being wrong or ridiculed, likes to conserve energy, likes to already know, and lumps similar as same.
Your mind thinks it’s doing you a favor.
However, your mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master and you absolutely can take your power back over its antics.
If you want more clarity, peace, understanding, joy, confidence, and ease in your life, here are two musts to practice and apply:
#1 You must ask for clarity from the other person
In the absence of information, your mind will always make up a negative and believable storyline. It does this because it pulls from past experiences (to your mind, similar is same and it wants to conserve energy) or because it wants you to be right in your justifications about something or someone.
Example:
Rhonda get passed by for the promotion she thought she was absolutely perfect for and she assumes it was because management heard about the disagreement she recently had with her current boss. Rhonda thinks that they must think that she’s difficult to work with.
Rhonda’s growth opportunity is to schedule a meeting with the person she interviewed with and ask why she didn't get the promotion.
And here’s where it gets tricky. If Rhonda has already made up her mind that her disagreement with her current boss is why she didn’t get promoted she won’t believe them if they give her another reason.
So, that’s why you must apply step #2:
#2 You must ask better questions of yourself
Here are some good ones:
Why do I believe this thought is true?
What evidence is available that proves this thought isn’t true?
Is it in my best interest to believe this?
What is a more realistic, in-the-middle way of seeing this?
Is this really my own opinion, or did someone else teach it to me and I didn’t question it?
Is this even really what I think or want to think in the future?
What would life be like if the opposite of this assumption were true?
What if this assumption didn’t exist at all in my life – who would I then be?
As you may already know, speaking up and asking for clarity about what someone said or did takes guts.
It also takes guts to be real and open with yourself to objectively see where there are opportunities for growth.
Your mind never makes this easy because it gets caught up in negative thought loops. That’s why having a supportive community and accountability to practice is key.
If you’re ready to stop reading or thinking about ways to improve and start applying them to your life so that in eight weeks you are light-years ahead of where you are now, let’s have a clarity Q&A call this week.
MindBodySWEAT is my small group coaching class for women and you will be blown away by the tools you learn that take you to a whole other level of everyday badass.
I have two current openings. Is one calling your name?
What assumptions are you making up about this class, me, and how you might not fit?
The clarity call frees you from making assumptions! You'll get to know if this class is right for you or not. You have nothing to lose. Reach out today!
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