The (really) dark side of perfectionism. What to look out for. Free challenge
I work with perfectionist women because I used to be one. Former perfectionists are the best teachers because we know first-hand what absolutely doesn’t work and what to do instead.
Being a perfectionist, on the surface, is admirable because being responsible, doing things right, and succeeding are admirable traits.
The dark side? Living in your head over-thinking, judging, and beating yourself up about the high, and often unrealistic, standard you’ve set for yourself.
Perfectionists tend to be all-or-nothing, have black/white thinking, and see failure as anything sub-standard.
Here’s a really common perfectionist scenario as it relates to sticking with healthy habits:
You really want to lose weight. In fact you haven’t been happy with how you look and feel for years. You know your drinking wine while sitting on the couch habit isn’t helping and you’re pissed because you know better.
A couple times a year you get really fed up and motivated. That’s when you do the strict juice cleanse or get super determined to workout everyday.
A few days in and your Inner Critic is already berating you with ALL kinds of believable lies, justifications, and excuses —
This is too hard. It’s OK to take the day off.
I’ve never succeeded before, what makes me think I’ll succeed this time?
Well, I tried, but I must have been born without the weight loss and willpower gene.
If I don't get this perfect, I'm a failure. This makes me very stressed!
I’m actually too busy at work to give this a go. I’ll try again in the Spring when I think things will be less busy.
I’m so stressed! I need to workout six days this week and I already missed a day! How am I supposed to fit in two workouts when I have to be so responsible and do everything for everyone at work and home too?
If you’re a perfectionist, you know the result.
You quit.
OR you joylessly keep white-knuckling it because you have to do it perfect, damn-it.
You might even double-down and restrict people, places, and things so that you can maintain strict control over your all-or-nothing regimented life.
The great news? You can change! You can do habit change better, easier, and have lasting positive results!
If perfectionism resonates for you, I created a habit change challenge that’s perfect for you!
It starts January 18th. It’s free. And it teaches you better skills and tools THAT WORK.
Sign up here and consider doing this with one of your perfectionist friends :)
Wouldn't you love referring to yourself as a former perfectionist this year?
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