Control Freak was my middle name :(
Often times, especially if you’re being lead by your Inner Critic who never thinks anything’s good enough, you gloss over how far you’ve come because you get trapped into thinking you never arrive.
I used to be great at never thinking I was far enough ahead in my career, not perfect enough when I compared my body and health habits, and not woman-enough because why else was it so hard to get my family or co-workers to do what was obviously best for them.
I made life really hard to live back in the day because going around thinking there was a faster or better path than the one I was on (or others were on) was energy-draining.
So, I’d try harder. Control more.
I’ve come a long way!
I see now that control is a fairytale storyline that our Inner Critics make up that, on the surface, seems to work.
In reality? Not even close.
In fact, the incessant need to control…
yourself
your actions
how you want to be seen by others (helpful, friendly, a good person, team player, etc…)
your circumstances
other people
Just makes you feel even more out of control, stressed, and anxious.
And it stalls you out.
What’s the opposite of control? Trust and flow.
Ahhhhhhhh!
Picture me with my feet up, arms behind my head, fan gently oscillating across my relaxed body, and me thinking calmly about my task-filled week of rolling out a new class with about a 90% uncertainty rate of who’s going to sign up, and outlining and prepping for a new training class that I’m doing virtually for the very first time in a matter of days.
While simultaneously planning, shopping for, and coordinating not one but four killer surprise events for Candace’s 40th birthday (you only turn 40 once!) and totally being OK with getting in an occasional short walk instead of regular workouts because I trust I’ll get back at it after life rebalances next week. And then tack on all the other stuff that goes on during the course of a normal week…
That was me last week and it felt great to simply stay present, do the next task in a relaxed manner, trust it would work out, and keep moving forward.
Back in the day? I wouldn’t have slept and there would have been no way in hell I would have propped my feet up anywhere!
I would have moved through all the ‘have-tos’ feeling stressed and been overwhelmed by the lack of time. I would have needed to control the timeline of everything and have every assurance that I would get the minimum head-count for my class.
There would have been a constant low-level of unease and anxiety because no matter how much I would have tried to control it all I would have felt completely out of control. And you better believe I would have gotten in my workouts even if it killed me.
What’s ironic between moving through your days needing to control VS trust and flow?
You succeed and accomplish the to-do’s regardless of which approach you use.
It’s just that the trust and flow approach kicks so much more ass and allows you to accomplish more with ease!
If you tend to control your way through your days and feel that constant low level of anxiety schedule a no-obligation consultation and let’s see if we’re a good fit.
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