My Super Lame Response to a Friend
“If you don’t fit in then you’re probably doing something right”
I met a new friend over the weekend and we were texting a bit yesterday. She told me she had something to do where she had to act ‘proper’ for a few hours and then she could go back to being loud.
Here’s my response: That’s a good trade-off.
I was in the shower a little while later, the place where my ideas flow like the water, and my response to her popped back into my head.
'That sure was a lame-ass response, Kelly! Since when do you support people playing small?'
Our society is filled to overflowing with people who play small, behave ‘proper’, and make sure they keep their light dimmed down.
Bullshit.
It reminded me of many many years ago when my then-husband was uncomfortable when I was loud, spoke my mind, and was animated. In other words...when I was myself.
One night we went out with some of his out-of-town work friends and one was a woman. I’ll never forget it except I forgot how she worded it exactly ;)
She basically told a story about how she used to play small and not shine and then one day she had enough and spoke up to her boss or husband (or both?) and said she was done! She told them from now on they needed to embrace her bold voice.
I immediately got serious chills and felt this electrifying power well up inside of me. I turned to my husband and said matter of factly ‘and that goes for me too!’
So I’m changing the lame ‘that’s a good trade-off’ response I sent to my friend with:
The acting ‘proper’ market is already filled to beyond capacity and it’s boring as hell. Be bold. Be loud! Be you!
...and that goes for anyone reading this who is tired of being 'proper.' Never get caught up in the 'what will people think' trap because #1: You really never know what people are thinking and #2: No matter if you're loud or quiet, you will never be liked by all so don't play the game for them, play it for you.
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