Think the words you’re using don’t matter? 

Think again. Or wait…you probably already overthink. Rephrasing ;) 

They do! Profoundly!

Everything you think corresponds to how you feel. How you feel determines if you take useful actions. Yet, oftentimes, the thoughts you think and feel lead to inactions, reactions, or distractions. 

And the real shit-kicker? Your mind is a heat-seeking missile trained to find supporting evidence to back up your thoughts.

That’s why you never saw red Outbacks on the road until you decided you were in the market for a red Outback and then you saw them everywhere. They were always there, you were just focused on your 2013 Honda Civic’s glaring problems.

Here are five common words that keep you from taking useful and productive actions and instead tank your energy, make you feel stuck, and create inactions, reactions, and distractions.


1. Hard

“Losing weight is hard.”

Instead: “I am choosing to focus on my small daily actions and how they make me feel.”

2. Don’t

“I don’t want to speak up because I might hurt their feelings.”

Instead: “I will speak up because this topic is important to me and I will speak from the heart.”

3. Try

“I’ll try to work out after work if I have time.”

Instead: I will work out after work.” “I won’t work out after work.” “I commit to myself to work out after work.”

4. Should

“I should get to the gym after work.”

Instead: “I will get to the gym after work.” “I choose to honor my goals and commit to going to the gym after work.”

5. Stress

“I am so stressed about everything I have to do at work!”

Instead: “I choose to stay present and do the next task on my list. That’s all I can do.”

Pay attention today. Are you using any of these words? How do they make you feel? What’s a more useful thought you can choose to have in the moment that helps you feel a little better so you take productive action?

You are in command of how you think, feel, and act. Always.

Speaking of in command, did you know that only 25% of women feel at peace and in command of their lives and like their bodies?

It needs to be shocking that 75% of women are up in their heads thinking they’re not enough and disliking their bodies.

I used to be a 75%er and it sucked so much. All of those thoughts (I was using the five above and so many more shitty ones!) telling me to try harder to measure up to some unrealistic standard I set for myself. And for what? So that I could maybe feel ‘OK’ about myself or my body for a couple of minutes if I managed to do everything right?

It never even occurred to me that I was trying to feel enough by over-functioning (and over-pleasing, controlling, and perfecting) at work and home. And? I still never felt like I was doing enough or that my body was enough. In fact, I was usually too tired to take care of my body. Isn’t that ridiculous?

If you’re a 75%er who’s over-functioning and then feeling drained and guilty for not taking care of your body, please take this to heart:

There’s nothing wrong with you. Women have been programmed to believe they’re not enough and that worthiness, peace, happiness, and confidence will appear after they do more.

It’s a f#@ed up lie.

It’s actually the opposite. Thank god!

Having a healthy self-relationship is the catalyst that erases over-functioning at work and home so that you have more time to like and take easy care of your body.

It’s my mission to drive up the percentage of women in command over their healthy self-relationships!

And it all starts with your thoughts. I help you unravel from the chaos and situations they’ve gotten you into (over-functioning for one) so that you take bold and on-target action for your important goals instead of distracting yourself from action. Everything shifts in your life when you up-level your relationship with yourself.

Reply back if you had an ‘Ah! I see that my self-relationship needs work’ moment… and you're ready to get off the 75% list! I’ll ask you a few questions to see if it makes sense to have a Zoom convo about next steps.

BTW, I have a small group cohort starting in January 2025. I’d love to share more!