Bonafide martyr. Me? Yep!
When I picture a martyr, I don't picture myself.
Yet, this realization hit me over the head recently.
I was being a martyr to me. Weird, right?
I realized that I have been living with a made-up weekday rule: No fun until my work is done. And when is my work done? When is anyone's work ever done? NEVER.
Let me back up -- I have been paying close attention to how I spend my weekday minutes. Am I doing the important things that are moving the needle? How much time is spent doing busy work that keeps me comfortable?
I noticed three things:
1. When I keep track of my time I do more important things with it
2. Even when I'm dialed in, focused, and working on important needle-moving tasks, I still 'think' that I could have done more. Gross. I'm changing that thought now because it's not helpful.
3. There are around 1-2 hours on most days where I'm just not creative or feeling productive yet what do I do? Sit and stare at the computer screen or to-do list. But...I'm 'working', right?
"I'm not really doing anything right now but whatever I do, I better not have any fun."
Gross.
I've been such a douchey martyr to myself!
So you know what I did? I had some damn fun and at the start of my day, which is always reserved for important tasks.
I went on a trail run and took a dip in my favorite blue hole. I felt so alive and happy that I was doing something so fun, and just for me, during work hours.
Are you a martyr to yourself? Do you make up grueling and explicit rules that you can't break?
Why?
What do you make it mean?
What would happen if you broke your own rules?
Here's the thing...
We're all just making this shit up!
We get to create whatever rules we want!
My new rule? Fun and play add life to my day! Leaving my house and computer is life-giving!
And it reinforces what I already know and teach clients --
You have to slow down to speed up.
Taking time for you to recharge and clear your mind is the best way to come back more creative, productive, and aligned.