Candace and I recently celebrated our 32nd three-month anniversary. We celebrate every three months because don’t you agree that the first three months of a relationship are always the best? Everything is new, passionate, easy, and fun.

And why the hell wouldn’t you want to keep that alive!?

Here’s the thing, it took me decades to figure out that we are the ones responsible for keeping our relationships fresh and alive because we’re the ones creating them every day with our attitudes and actions (or in-actions).

What an epiphany to understand that it’s me that either adds to or subtracts from my relationship and it’s my responsibility to do my part.

Who do you know that’s in a humdrum relationship? Always nitpicking or not really communicating at all?

I saw this all the time growing up with my parents and also with their friends so it was natural to think that was the best to expect. That was normal. That’s just what happens when you’re married.

And guess what? My low expectations for relationships were always met.

What changed? My divorce lead me to re-evaluate how I wanted any future relationships to go.

I finally saw that it was me who was in charge of who I attracted by how I was being and I recognized that I was being someone who didn't warrant a lot of respect because I lacked it for myself. So I got busy up-leveling it so that I could attract it.

The difference between this relationship and previous ones has been a shift in how I show up.

I tell clients about my ‘celebrate every three months’ philosophy and help them with tools to find their right person and it makes me smile so big to know that I have contributed to two of them finding their soul mates -- especially when they questioned early on if it was even possible.

One former client celebrates the months, and they’re up to 82. They’re so damn cute and genuinely happy in their marriage. My other former client married her soul mate and also couldn’t be happier. They’re literally two peas in a pod.

Life is meant to be shared with the right person and I believe that everyone not only can have that but deserves it.

HOW DO YOU FIND AND KEEP THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP SO YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE THE DAYS AND MONTHS?

It always starts with your own self-development because you don't attract who you want, you attract what you are. 

If you don't honor this first step you'll find yourself repeating the same relationship patterns over and over which leads you down the rabbit hole of thinking you have to try harder, that there's something wrong with you, or that you just need to settle or sacrifice yourself because this is the best you can hope to get.

Oh, HELL NO! 

I used to think that. My clients used to think that. It's B.S.!

Want help with this? Sign up for my free upcoming online training -- Relationships That Work FOR YOU. Here's how.

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