Last week was Candace and my 21st three-month anniversary. We celebrate every three months because don’t you agree that the first three months of a relationship are always the best? Everything is new, passionate, easy and fun.

And why the hell wouldn’t you want to keep that alive!?

Here’s the thing, it took me decades to figure out that we are the ones responsible for keeping our relationships fresh and alive because we’re the ones creating them every day with our attitudes and actions (or in-actions).

What an epiphany to understand that it’s me that either adds to or subtracts from my relationship and it’s my responsibility to do my part.

Who do you know that’s in a humdrum relationship? Always nitpicking or not really communicating at all?

I saw this all the time growing up with my parents and also with their friends so it was natural to think that was the best to expect. That was normal. That’s just what happens when you’re married.

And guess what? My low expectations for relationships were always met.

What changed? My divorce lead me to re-evaluate how I wanted any future relationships to go.

I finally saw that it was me who was in charge of who I attracted by how I was being and I recognized that I was being someone who didn't warrant a lot of respect because I lacked it for myself. So I got busy up-leveling it so that I could attract it.

The difference between this relationship and previous ones has been a shift in how I show up for it and I give thanks to the books, coaches, and workshops that helped create a better me which has definitely resulted in a better we :)

I tell clients about my ‘celebrate every three months’ philosophy and help them with tools to find their right person and it makes me smile so big to know that I have contributed to two of them finding their soul mates -- especially when they questioned early on if it was even possible.

One client celebrates the days, and they’re up to over 1,400. They’re so damn cute and genuinely happy in their marriage. My other client just got engaged to her soul mate and also couldn’t be happier. They’re literally two peas in a pod.

Life is meant to be shared with the right person and I believe that everyone not only can have that but deserves it.

How do you find and keep the right relationship so you want to celebrate the days and months?

* First: Work on being the best you and part of that is knowing and honoring your values

Second: Have fun being the best you without the expectations and heaviness that come with ‘trying hard’ to find a partner

Third: When the right partner comes along (and they will) show up for the relationship full-on and always be reminding yourself that you are creating it every day with your actions (or inactions) so create the best damn relationship ever because you deserve it!

I am developing a new small group relationship course that will focus on steps #1 and #2 above and I'm kicking it off early 2018.

It will be for women both in and out of relationships.

Are you interested? Simply click to reply, write RELATIONSHIP, and send and I'll put you on the exclusive first-to-know list.

You will be the first to know about the details, first to grab one of the ten limited spots, and first to get the early sign up discount. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED BUT NOT LOCAL you can still take part.

Know someone who may be interested in this course? Please share this post with them. Share the love :)

* This is paramount no matter if you're currently in a relationship and want it to be better or looking for one!