Where Stress Originates and How to Fix It
What a profound and accurate summary of stress.
And get this:
Your 'here' or what is is exactly where you’re supposed to be no matter if your what is is not what you’d prefer.
Understanding this helps to grasp 1) that you have a lot of responsibility for creating your what is 2) the importance of surrendering to it and 2) taking the right actions to move yourself out of it calmly and without self-inflicted stress.
Here’s an example:
Ethel is frustrated because she’s being taken advantage of at work. It’s been stressing her out for way too many months and she wishes her boss would pick up on the hints she drops that she needs to leave at 5pm, which is about the time he lays a last minute emergency request on her.
Ethel has spent several months being mad at her boss and blaming him for not being respectful to her. She’s stressed and tired and feels powerless over the situation.
Ethel's what is is stressful because she doesn't like it and she wishes it wasn't happening. And according the Eckhart Tolle this is the basis of stress.
She decides to examine how she created her what is by objectively asking herself better questions and answering them.
- Why does my boss think he can do that to me?
- (because I don’t speak up for myself)
- (because I don’t speak up for myself)
- Why don’t I speak up?
- (because I’m afraid he will get mad)
- (because I’m afraid he will get mad)
- Why do I think he’ll get mad?
- (I really don’t know that he will but it’s happened with another boss in the past so it could happen again)
- (I really don’t know that he will but it’s happened with another boss in the past so it could happen again)
- What if I speak from the heart about a solution and he’s receptive?
- (good idea, Ethel, let’s try it)
She schedules a meeting with her boss to discuss the 5 o’clock pattern, how it’s affecting her, and a couple solid solutions.
Her boss thanks her for speaking up, is receptive to her ideas, and asks her to implement them.
Bam! Ethel created a happier what is that's no longer stressful.
Here's a recap:
- Ethel created her stressful what is by playing small and not speaking up.
- She initially fought against her what is by expending a lot of negative energy on it vs surrendering to it.
- By asking herself better questions she was able to take responsibility for her what is and then take positive actions to move into a better and more empowered place.
The very things that stress you out are the very things you need to get to the bottom of so that your stressful what is shifts to a fulfilling, abundant, calm, etc. what is.
You have a choice.
You absolutely have the option to go through your what is kicking and screaming, mad at the injustice, worried and anxious about the ‘what-ifs’, or depressed that things aren’t working according to ‘plan’. In fact that is how most people choose to deal with their what is’s.
But I gotta ask, if that’s you, how’s that working out? Is it stressful?
You also absolutely have the choice to surrender to and accept your what is and ask yourself better questions so that you take action and responsibility to move into a much healthier what is.
Surrender, responsibility, and action are the magical tickets to ending the stress and turmoil of your what is.
Want to know the top benefit of doing it like this?
You move through your stressful what is faster.
Think of it this way:
Kicking and screaming, worrying, and what-ifing consume your energy, stress you out, and drag you down. It's literally how people drown.
You know how people stay afloat? By keeping calm, surrendering to their what is and using their critical thinking skills to take responsibility and the right actions.
Cheers to creating a happy and thriving what is!
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