Where are you when it comes to self-development and change?

Here’s a self-development quiz:

Do you buy a really great self-development book and

a) never read it
b) read it and say “wow, that’s a great idea, I should implement that’’ and then don’t (or half-heartedly try)
c) stay stuck in some area of your life because you’re not sure what to buy so you don’t buy anything or
d) read it, implement the tools, and up-level your life.

This quiz applies to any area of self-development including seminars, workshops, coaches, webinars, etc.

What your answers mean:

A) You never read it

You are in the very beginning stages of change. You kinda-sorta know you need some tools to get you moving forward in some area of your life or health but you’re not all in yet. Often times this stage is filled with inner turmoil that sounds like this:

What if I don’t succeed?

What if I do succeed? (fearing the unknown)

What if it’s too hard?

How will I find the time?

It probably won’t work for me

What to do about it

First of all, give yourself a break. Us humans hate change even when we know it’s good for us. Why? Because it takes us out of our comfort zones even though we’re ironically not that comfortable there.

Start allowing yourself to let go and dream a bit. How do you want your life be happier? What’s exciting about that?

Be a possibility thinker. Sure, it’s natural to think of all the negative ‘what ifs’ but please know that you totally have the ability to think the opposite! List out all the positive ‘what ifs’. Which feels better? Which would you rather focus on?

B) You read it and don’t implement the solutions or only give it a quick ‘try’

You’re further along on the change continuum yet your inner voice is still pounding you with negative ‘what if’ scenarios. Again, don’t beat yourself up. Recognize the voice and choose to take a positive action anyway.

Sometimes you also ‘try’ to implement something but don’t give it enough of a chance to take hold. You get impatient, buy a new book to ‘try’ and start the destructive cycle again.

What to do about it

Take action!

A very common reason for not taking action on tools we learn is because we think we have to implement all of them at once. That always sets us up to fail and stalls us out. So just pick one small action step and be consistent doing it! Reminder: It takes 21 days to form a new habit.

Another common pattern is to over-think where to start. When you think there is a right and wrong place to start you set yourself up to fail. Starting anywhere is always going to move you forward vs. being afraid of starting in the ‘wrong’ place. All places are right!

If you’re the person who keeps thinking the solution is always in the next book vs the book you’re reading, recognize this sabotaging pattern and commit to sticking to one tool long enough to give it a fair and objective shot. That typically means 3-4 weeks doing it consistently.

C) Stay stuck and don’t buy anything

Your critical and judging voice is super loud when you’re stuck in analysis paralysis. You think there needs to be a ‘right’ place to start which makes it overwhelming.

You may also be so burned out from over-functioning that your head simply feels too fuzzy to make any decisions.

And last, not buying anything means you also don’t have to take action on anything. A twisted way we like to stay safe and comfortably uncomfortable.

What to do about it

First, start asking yourself the benefits you receive by listening to your critical voice. What if you started listening to the voice that made you happier?

Do you need a reset? A time to quiet your mind and get clear about what you want for your one, precious life? Take it! Put yourself first for a change. Your kids, spouse, the dog, the grass, your boss, etc….will survive.

Take action and embrace the discomfort. Buying any book that resonates with you is a step in the right direction.

D) Read and implement strategies

You have been practicing and applying positive tools on a regular basis and have developed positive habits. Your consistent follow-through has strengthened your self-confidence and your comfort zone. Yeah!

What to do about it

Keep growing! And keep a beginners mind because there is always a next level to embrace, develop, and learn from.

A final note:
If a book (workshop, coach, etc) resonates with you, you can identify with what they’re saying, and their tools/ideas have merit you need to TRUST that doing them will get you to a better, happier, more kick-ass life!